Jodie Foster’s Golden Globes Acceptance Speech: Not Retiring

Today’s talk of the town revolves around Jodie Foster’s acceptance speech at the Golden Globes, in which she hinted at the possibility of retirement. Reports everywhere then flooded the Internet with speculation of the reasons behind Foster’s retirement.

Jodie Foster

However, at a backstage interview, Foster went on to say, “No, I am not retiring.” She added, “I could never stop acting. You’d have to drag me with wild horses.”

The vagueness in Foster’s speech came from her claim of never again stepping foot on any stage – leaving people to assume she meant award ceremony stages.

“It’s just that from now on, I may be holding a different talking stick,” said Foster, evoking tears in the audience.

One can assume Foster means directing or some other off-camera, off-stage part in the grand scheme of theatrics, but Foster herself has yet to clarify exactly which stick she wants to hold.

In addition to the vague non-retirement announcement in her Golden Globes acceptance speech, Foster also came out as a homosexual woman, though she expected few to be surprised by this announcement.

“I’m just going to put it out there, loud and proud … I am, uh, single,” said Foster, pausing for effect. “I hope you’re not disappointed that there won’t be a big coming-out speech tonight. I already did my coming-out about a thousand years ago back in the Stone Age.”

She went on to joke that today’s celebrities are expected to announce their homosexuality “with a press conference, a fragrance, and a prime-time reality show. And you guys might be surprised, but I am not Honey Boo Boo Child. No, I’m sorry, that’s just not me. It never was and it never will be. But please don’t cry, because my reality show would be so boring.”

Even with all the vague announcement, Jodie Foster’s acceptance speech left the audience emotionally overwhelmed and utterly stunned by her convictions.